Premier League

Sorry i've been lazy so i'll do this to appease the fans, Matt Spurr's lowdown on the 20 premier league clubs before it all starts tomorrow/today:

Arsenal: cunts, too short
Aston Villa: Why sign downing when you have young?
Birmingham: whats the point in getting promoted
Blackburn: will be boring as usual
Bolton: danger kev will secure mid-table
Burnley: Whats the ship that never sinks? Championship.
Chelsea: Premier League Champions
Everton: will only get worse
Fulham: Get distacted by Europe so will fall down the table.
Hull: may just stay up thanks to the other orange team.
Liverpool: weaker without Alonso, Aquilani out for 2 months = DROPPED POINTS.
Man City: Chelsea had a platform already, City didnt, will not break top 4
Man Utd: Where have Ronaldo and Tevez gone? oh well, 3 in a row is enough.
Portsmouth: No players, no money, relegation scrap
Stoke: will do alright.
Sunderland: Darren Bent wont solve your problems.
Spurs: Destined for europa league greatness
West Ham: so what if Carlton Cole played well for England, you'll still get mid-table.
Wigan: BORING, oh wait their manager is Spanish, maybe they wont be so...
Wolves: hopefully their championship strike force will bring goals and relegate Hull.

*refer back in May

Zagreb

Well searching for a car company wasnt as successful as we'd wished, apparently there were no cars in Zagreb, and from the looks of it there was no people either. We went to the hostel that the lads had scouted but the prices that were mentioned on the website were wrong and they didnt have any room anyway. We got given a place in a hostel a tram ride out of town. We got some booze and cooked some munch, then headed into town on some hearsay about a club in a park, we went there and got a round of beer and tequilas in danced a bit then chatted for a while about sexual escapades and trivialities. We moved to another club which was empty, here we perfected a 4 man head left, right, left, left, right, left, right, right dancing technique that we vowed not to repeat until the time was right. Next to us were two couples who were dancing ridiculously, after a while we realised that a foursome was on the cards as they started swapping partners, even ending up girl on girl and boy on boy. We left the club and worked out different segments to our dance move before heading home, stopping along the way to talk to some randoms. I had a long chat with 2 Croats about the premier league, and how good Luka Modric is. We got the night tram back before getting a kebab, i asked if they had anything vegetarian, so they made me a sandwich with some gherkin, some lettuce, some tomato and mayonnaise, there might have been cheese in there to. We had to check out at 11 but eventually left around 12, heading straight to the bus station to get a bus to Zadar.

Major Treks

A (not so) brief log about my travels from the Cevennes National Park, France to Zagreb, Croatia.

1st Leg, Cevennes - Ales (0800 10/07):
Woke up at 7.30 to get a lift with David to get to Ales for the 9.20 train. David slowed down a few times to show me and lucy some views of valleys and castles and whatnot, after about 20 minutes i thinking about how lovely it would be to take a photo, i realised i had left my camera at La Capel. There was no way we could have gone back to get it and still of made the train. When we got to Ales, i thanked David for the lift and hospitality and after he gave Lucy a few kisses too many we went to buy tickets.

2nd leg, Ales - Nimes (0920 10/07)
The train journey lasted about half an hour, me and Lucy had a little chat about the last week, and then gernerally about love and life. I waited with her on her platform for her train to Montpellier where she was flying from before moving to the platform where i needed to catch my train.

3rd leg, Nimes - Marseille (1015 10/07)
A relatively quick journey for the distance covered, i just settled and read my book. When i got to Marseille i got some munch from McDo the woman taking my order wrong so i ended up having to pay for 2 portions of chips (I'm British, i don't complain). On the way to my platform i saw the sign up office for the French Foreign Legion, I stopped and considered it for a moment, merely for comedy value, then made my way to the train.

4th leg, Marseille - Nice (1215 10/07)
I get a compartment to myself, and thinking my fool proof plan of looking Algerian will mean nobody will come in and sit with me, start munching my food. About a minute later three female spanish travellers come and sit with me, making me jealous of their buff munch and fit bodies, an orgy followed (scrap the last bit, they weren't even fit...). I caught a few hours shut eye and a few chapters of my book. En route my mum texted me to say that she didn't need chemo, which cheered made my month.

5th leg, Nice - Ventimille/Ventimiglia (1420 10/07)
The short local train service along the Riviera was a pleasant one. The train passed through Cannes and Monaco on the way to the Italian border, as we stopped at one station i gazed into the bay to notice one of the worlds Mega-yachts, probably belonging to Roman Abramovich or someone similar. When i got into Italy i thought about stopping knowing that there was where Archie and Pierre has slept the night the year before making this very same journey, I overheard, on the other hand some fat Italian Lady saying 'Milano' and pointing at the train so i got a ticket for it and went to get some supplies.

6th leg, Ventimiglia - Milan 1630 (10/07)
I found another compartment to myself and had a little nap and a read of my book before trying to make a little sandwich out of my bread tomato and cheese that i had bought, without a knife. After about an hour and a half the ticket lady came and checked my ticket before telling me that I had to move. I moved to the 8th carriage where i had to be and found the least dodgy looking compartment, with three Italian women in it one young, two middle-aged. One of the middle-aged ones, a blonde woman was listening to that crappy euro-techno that is really repetitive, cheesy and shit, really loudly on her headphones. When we got to Genoa, to English speaking people got on, i found out that they had been in a business conference in Genoa so stopped talking to them. Obvo when travelling you van only talk to badass travellers like yourself, oh and the odd local. Luckily one of those odd locals could speak english and when i was telling the American and German about my journey she informed me about the train strike happening the next day from 9am to 9pm. This would mean if i stayed the night in Milan i would have to stay there for at least another 24 hours, which, unless you are a fashionista, is not a desirable scenario. Another thing of mention which happened to this journey was whenever we went through a tunnel, bare in mind that there were no lights on the train, the blonde middle-aged (who i later distinguished to be polish and not so middle-aged), would shine her phone light on me, me and and only me, for the entirety of the time we would be in the tunnel. We passed through a lot of tunnels and she only stopped doing it when a black guy started standing outside our compartment, so she shone it on him...

When i got to Milan station i needed to get to Venice or Trieste, i saw on the board that there was a train leaving to Venice in a half hour that had been delayed, but the ticket queue was too long and the machines didn't have it anymore. I would have to get to Trains to Trieste.

7th leg, Milan - Bologna 2300 (10/07)
When i got on the train a young Italian bloke asked me something which i didn't understand so the guy next to me who could speak english translated. We chatted for a bit about how he had lived in London I told him i was going to Bologna and he told me he was going to Bari (loooong train). I got about an hour shut eye before my alarm went off alerting me we were almost there. I think I must have drifted off again cos my english speaking friend alerted me that it was my stop, so i rushed of forgetting my mirrored aviators that i had bought only 2 weeks beforehand - gutted. When i got into the station i got a sandwich from a vending machine, probably one of the buffest things i have ever got from a vending machine, it being italian and all, then went to find somewhere to roll a joint. I found a suitably semi-secluded place on the platform and settle down only to find that i had given my last rizla to the girls back in Pierre's yard to roll some cigarettes the night before. I asked a traveller girl if she had some skins, she replied 'no, but i have some cigarettes if you want?' i replied in the negative -'ooooooooooh...'

8th leg, Bologna - Trieste (0335 11/07)
I got into to my compartment to find 4 spanish girls (again) dressed in their glad rags, they were accompanied by some tight shirted slick haired prick who shouted at one of them when she sat next to me. They were on the way home from a night out so they only stayed on one stop. Again i had a whole compartment to myself, so i pulled out all the seats to make one big bed. Conscious of the story when Crawf got his stuff jacked, I put my bags under the seats i was sleeping on - which was all of them. I kept my phone and wallet in my pocket so when at about an hour into the journey a guy came into my cabin i woke up and grabbed my pockets in a sort of assassin style reaction. When i woke up the next time i was effectively spooning him, and when i woke up the next time he was gone. I checked the time it was almost trieste arrival time. As we left Montefalcone station i got my first glimpse of the Adriatic, the morning sun reflecting beautifully off the crystal clear water. When we eventually rolled into Trieste i got some greasy munch, from the Spar supermarket in the station, but found it really hard to stomach, some guy in front of me was buying beers, i was like beer? at 7.30 in the morning? so i went across the road into the square and had a joint. The joint allmost knocked me out cold i grabbed forty winks on a grassy knoll lying on my beach towel then went to get my bus.

9th leg, Trieste - Kopar (0850 - 11/07)
There wasn't a bust to Ljubljana until 2 so i had to get a bust to Kopar, Slovenia's main port and the next town along the coast from Trieste in order to get a connecting bus or train. As the bus set off, i realised the African guy sitting just behind me on the opposite side of the bus was chanting to himself. I don't know whether it was because i was sleep deprived or just really high, but i started freaking out so much, and was wondering why nobody else on the bus was getting freaked out with me, i calmed down shortly afterwards when we got to Kopar and I got off.

10th leg, Kopar - Ljubljana (1005 11/07)
As i got on the train i remembered how attractive slavic women are. I started reading my book again having finished it the night before, but soon gave up to admire the slovenian country side. The train took a strange route through the hills, it felt a strange route anyway, stopping at all these stations deep in the Julian alps, reminding me of when we had been here 2 years previous. A fat ticket inspector man said something and the whole carriage groaned. I eavesdropped on some Slovenian man telling a french family (in english) that they were going to have to terminate the train early and get a rail replacement bus.

11th leg, Outside Ljubljana - Ljubljana Train Station (1105 11/07)
We left the train for the coach and i was one of the first on so tried to shotgun the entire back seat, there was obviously going to be less seat than passengers so i ended up getting shoved into one of the corners, as the coach set off 'Eye of the Tiger' came on the radio which instantly brightened my mood. As we got into the town centre i tried to spot things i recognised, and it was only when i saw the big Union brewery I knew i was close. I went and had burek in the restaurant where me and danny had that big burek barney 2 years ago for nostalgia purposes but also cos they had a plug in the wall where i could charge my phone. I went back to the station to get my ticket to Zagreb before bumping into Archie and Ali and then Tom Adcock who had flew out with them. In the station we met some girls who they had met the night before, one of whom new archie through their dads being in the same band. The girl, i think she was called Mathilde, was telling archie how she texted her dad, 'small world' the dad had replied. 'Craaazy' was Archie's response.

12th leg, Ljubljana - Zagreb (1430 11/07)
On the train i was telling the guys about my travels. I mentioned in passing that the train was heading to belgrade and imagine if we went to EXIT. 'Really? whos playing?' I explained it Kissy Sellout, Steve Angello, Etienne de Crecy live and Eric Prydz. At this point everyone got really hyped up, we started discussing how much we would be like heroes, contacting people to see if they would be able to get us day tickets. We asked the train man what time the train would get into Belgrade - 1230, ok new plan. When the train arrived in Zagreb, we ran straight to the Tourist Information to ask about car hire agencies...

Pierre yard.

Joe told me before we got that no matter how good you expect it to be, it will be better. I have to say that i had to agree with his statement (apart from the pool, but that's just being picky!).

The setting was beautiful, set high up in the Massif Central, dead centre of the Cevennes national park and mountain range. The village was the stereotypical french rural village, a few houses supplied by a local store, boulangerie, and a petit bar/restaurant which doubled up as a internet cafe.

It was so good to get there away from the heat and the expense of the south coast, the latter aided by the fact that Claude, Pierre's grandma and here partner David were staying at the house (known to the family as 'La Capel), despite owning a house up the road, and provided us with food. My diet consisted of fresh bread, french cheese and red wine. The downside of them being there is that we couldn't be as free with smoking, but all this meant was that we could relive the feeling of being 14 again, sneaking outside after the parents had gone to sleep and having a cheeky joint.

Time during the day was spent going on walks, getting pissed in the bar, chucking a frisbee around on the village football pitch next door or even going for a dip in the ice cold fountain that was about 8 feet deep and sourced directly from the mountain spring, and then going for a dip in the pool, which as a remnant of the previous owners needs some work done as the linings coming off, but that's a technicality.

I wish i could of stayed longer, i only ended up only staying 3 nights, but needs unfortunately i had to go to another festival which was in Croatia, and was meeting Ali and Archie in Zagreb on the 12th so had a few trains to catch. I had romanced about buying a little mobilette and riding all the way to Soundwave at a steady 30mph but the only man who would possibly have one for sale, Roland (roll-on) aka My Nigga Roland, i never got round to meeting...

...ah well, c'est la vie.

WorldWide

After spending a couple of days with Ally and the rents it was time for me to leave again. My mum had just had some bad news about the cancer and was off to portugal to see her sister, her flight was half an hour after mine so i got a lift with her, luckily i had no hold luggage and had already checked in so the fact that i arrived at stanstead 15 minutes before the flight boarded ended up being ok. i walked swiftly through the airport and as i was about 3 gates away i saw a sign for final call on my flight, broke into a run just to see that the queue had gone nowhere and to the calls of 'look he's running'. Waiting there were Pierre and Joe, Joes sister harriet, her boyfriend max and their mate, Hannah, Lucy, Naimh and their mate Alice, so a few first impressions were made of me as the sweaty late one.

After the flight we arrived in a very hot montpellier where we tried to get a bus into to town to get the train to sete but instead opted for a taxi all the way to the hostel. This pretty much blew my budget out of the water as it cost 75 euros for between me pierre and joe. We got the hostel, after a quick walk up a very steep hill, and again, as were checking in, i reinforced my reputation as the sweaty one by sitting on one of the plastic chairs in the foyer which, when i left it, had a little puddle collected. we couldn't move into our room until 4 so we decided to go into town get some munch and then got to the beach party which was the launch of the festival. When we were on the bus there i realised i hadnt eaten all day (i was up at 4, it was now 1 in the afternoon) so started to feel really hungry, when we eventually got to the beach the huge munch we had was incredibly buff. The sick thing about the beach venue, named ACD beach after the bar it was set in was that the speakers faced the sea, so if you were swimming or playing bat and ball or frisbee in the sea, you could still hear the music and dance along club med stylie.

Wer missioned to get the very infrequent bus back when we gotr back to the hostel we found out that harriet and max had hitched a lift. we had dinner at the hostel that night and tried to imbibe some very room-temperature pastis, luckily the girls had soem beers so we managed to snaffle a few of those. After a while we headed down to the lighthouse venue called Phare du Mole which was where most of the nighttime DJing would take place, we got there in the middle of Theo Parish, who i felt was a bit of a let down, as he kept on dipping and boosting the bass, which was a bit rubbish and ultimately broke the soundsystem. After his set he gave a little speech, and kept repeating, 'i should of done a sound check!'. Diplo was next up and he was wicked. He opened up his set with some sick tunes, brought it a bit commercial during towards the end (he played skream's remix of la roux) which didnt really fit with the festival, but ultimately it went down well and i thought he was sick! I went home after him cos it was some whack mintech DJ on afterwards and i had virtually been awake for 24 hours as well.

Next day i went online for a bit and whilst pierre and joe went for a coffee. I met them at the cafe where they were sat with naimh and lucy, we went to monoprix for some munch and then went to get the bus. Joe started running for it but it seemed like a bit of a fruitless endeavour and pierre and more so i slowly lagged behind. when i got round the bend i saw the bus pull away with joe and pierre on it! waiting for the girls i decided to give max and harriet's hitch hiking idea a try. In about 3 minutes a guy in a convertible pulled up and asked me where i needed to go, to which i responded the beach, as i got in the girls walked past so asked if they could come too, of course! we ended up getting to the beach the same time as the others. The music on the beach was good, as it was the day before, but i was looking forward to some live music in the third venue called the Theatre de la mer.

After going up to the hostel to finish off our pastis (this time with ice) and drink some leffe which we had bought we headed down to the venue with sandwiches in hand. When we got there we were told we couldn't bring them in so we stashed them and whatever beer we had left. The theatre de la mer is a big romanesque open-air amphitheatre which over looks the sea, probably the nicest venue for live music i have ever been too. We got in for the end of sebastien schuller who was a bit weird and ambient but afterwards came Soil & "Pimp" Sessions... Never before have i seen a group of guys that looked so cool. Soil & Pimp are a Jazz group from Japan who Gilles Peterson described as the biggest name in the world of Jazz at the moment, and I could see why. I'm not usually into Jazz as a dance music (in fact i've just starting downloading one of their albums now) but literally half way through their first song half the amphitheatre was on the dance floor in front of where they were playing and the other half of the amphitheatre was standing up in their seats, dancing as well. After Soil & Pimp we collected our sandwiches and made our way to the Phare du Mole. Pierre wasn't sure whether he wanted his or not, but litterally a second after he mentioned this he dropped it under my foot as we were walking, pierres mind was made up for him then and there, goodbye sandwich.

The main act that i we wanted to see at the Phare du mole that night was Dorian Concept who was doing a semi live set, playing the melody on a little keyboard whilst he DJed at the same time, It started to rain half way through his set and, because the stage had no roof, the tech guys had to hold a plastic sheet over the decks whilst he was DJing, eventually it was pouring down and the crowd was uniting under the heavy rain, marvelling at the lightning bolts out at sea, until the music had to be turned off, as well as the lights probably due to safety. He came back on about 15 minutes later when the rain stopped and finished off a very good, despite being interrupted, set. After was a another mintech DJ called Martyn so i went for a rest cos my feet and knees were hurting pierre came with and fell asleep, standard, the only man i know to fall asleep more than me. I was waiting around for Carl Craig, of whom i had heard good things but when his set started i realised it was a standard friday night 4am type radio one music, the type you listen too when your on the bus home, the fact that Gilles Peterson kept interspersing it with bursts of 'you are listening to the sound of detroit, Mr Carl Craig...' in his best radio voice, didnt help. I decided to make my way home, i guess I'm not that much into my Second Wave Detroit Techno.

That morning i set my alarm for 9.30 in order to get up in time for the free breakfast, i filled my boot sand went back to sleep but agreed with myself that it wasnt worth it doing again. That day we went to the beach as standard, all of us hitch hiking, i assumed my sunbathing pose and subsequently did my daily routine of nap, swim, eat, swim, sunbathe, frisbee, nap, swim, that night we skipped/missed out on the live music, in sacrifice of getting pissed and eating a meal of ratatouille and frites at the hostel. That night was deffinately the best night of music at the Phare du Mole. First up was Fulgeance, a sort of lesser, french version of Dorian Concept but almost as good, towards the end of this i got a bit tires so went for a cotch and ended up having a little nap, when i woke up, god forbid, I heard house music! It was Jazzanova playing some sick tunes It might of been a couple of nights previous but it fits into my memory as happening on this night, Joe was trying to chirps Alice, so employed me and Pierre as wing men, which of course we were very excited about, are job was to get rid of hannah so we performed a 2 man dancing barrier manoeuvre which slowly moved hannah away from the other 2, and she was none the wiser, except until she reads this of course. next up was Laurent Garnier Live. For me and i reckon a lot of people this was the highlight of the festival, an amazing live set which culminated in a rendition of his massive choon, 'man with the red face'. I'm sure you guys know it but if you dont here's it is, quite a sick video as well...




After laurent was another mintech DJ so i went home!

Day 4 was at ACD beach all day. We decided to have a sit-down meal in the town centre, but the cafe 'hotel-de-ville' had basically finished lunch so pierre and joe had the plat du jour and i went down the road for an omlette and frites sandwich. on teh way to our spot where we hitched from some 15 year old algerian kid offered us so hash, so we picked up off him, was good shit, straight out of north africa afterall. The beach party had been expanded from the previous 3 days and now the seats and barriers extended nearly all the way to the shore. The music seemed to be of a higher calibre as well and it seemed as though everyone was a lot more up for it as well. The girls bought a fuck load of beer so we got some ice and made a make-shift fridge in the sand, time was spent during the day swimming drinking and dancing, particular highlights included a nighttime swim (so weird!), listening to a shit load of Michael Jackson and loving it, especially when Simbad dropped thriller with a full moon in the sky. It went on until about 4.30 when the security kicked us off the beach, just as we left the beach we witnessed a massive fight between some local 'racail' in which a non-involved couple became involved when the fell into them and they reacted as anyone would, but ended up being hit and thrown to the floor. we made our way passed the fracas where the girls hired a cab cos they couldnt be arsed to walk the hour home from the beach. Me, Pierre and Joe started to walk, attempting to hitch a lift with the few cars passing by, after about 10 minutes walking up the road a car pulled up, despite me having my hand down the front of my shorts. the two gusy in the front were playing some badass arab-french fusion hip-hop but suddenly the music got cut off and the guy in the passengers seat asked us what we did. 'students?! ah so you must take drugs...' he then went on to ask us how much drugs are in the UK, before they dropped us off at the foot of the hill before the familiar walk up the hill to the hostel, where i watched the sun rise over my book and a spliff, waited for breakfast to be set up, eating then going to bed.

The next day was Pierre's birthday so we checked out and moved into the girls room. we went for lunch in town and used the internet for a bit before going to a little place we had found earlier in the week and had some beers and some cake the girls got him. afterwards we headed back to the hostel and chilled out with will morgan, michael hessle and their mate who until this point i have forgotten to mention were also staying at our hostel. The next day we got up for breakfast and left for pierres yard in the countryside.

Worldwide was wicked, the thing i didnt like though, apart from the mintech, was that it felt like you needed to be late twenties and monied, and for that reason i dont think i will go there for at least another 5 years. Sete was a lovely setting (get it?) but i would have preferred to have been in an apartment in the centre rather than in the hostel at a treks-legnth up teh steepist hill i have ever seen in a french town.

I leave you with the official video of teh last day of teh festival, u get a brief video of joe doing his music face and a bit of me taking photos of my back...



WHAT AN EPIC POST!!!

Scotland

One of the biggest things i have been looking forward to doing this summer is revisiting Guislich farm near Aviemore in the Highlands to repeat the holiday we had when we were fresh faced &è year olds.

Thanks to beachbreak being 3 days instead of 4 i ended up having to wait around in london for an extra day as i had booked my flight presuming that the festival lasted a day longer. I therefore arrived a day later than the majority of people but quickly got into the flow of things, hannah and rachel preparing a buff munch before a nostalgia tripping session of reading our scrapbook from last time before an equally nostalgic game of 'I have never'. Rachel contacted her mate in Warwick to send us up some ganj because we sorted out any beforehand

The next day we got up early to do a big walk around loch morlich. we had lunch in a mountain pass and walked a lovely path back to the bus stop. Than evening some people continued whittling the spoons they had started the night before, i started my pipe. Alice and Ali whipped up a buff curry.

The day after we chilled, a bit knackered from the previous days walk, we sat around the cottage munching, reading whilst intermittently checking whether the draw had arrived. We had a brief visit to the nearby loch where the girls were swimming topless so the lads went full nude, the retreat was quite bad, i must say. We had a really buff barbeque for dinner that evening.

Wednesday was Allons last day in the highlands so we decided to do a big walk up Cairngorm, the 3rd biggest peak in the UK, we ate lunch at the top then walked along a ridge until we walked down possible one of the steepest descents i have ever walked before finishing off with a relatively leisurely stroll back to the foot of the hill train where we started our walk. That night Florence and I cooked risotto and melanzane di parmigeanno before saying goodbye to Allon. After dinner i managed to niggaflip Ali, check it out here:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=123730887109&subj=1616250069

The next day we had another chill out day quite similar to the one before. Hannah and Alice baked a crumble which i thought tasted like weed, and then when Florence mentioned it, Hannah and Alice went SUPRISE!!! and presented to 8th bags of weed! We had all given up on the possibility of it arriving, and didn't even realise they had gone to check the postbox at the end of the track. We needed rizla and backy so we needed to go into Aviemore, and therefore decided to go jumping of the bridge. I forgot how high it was as well as how sick it felt to jump off. That night mesh and sherene cooked a great meal though i cant quite remeber what it was, some sort of shepherd's pie maybe, one thing for sure was that it was buff. That night joels mate david called him to tell us that michael jackson had died, we were sceptical to say the least until nearly all of us got a text from someone or another. We then went to bed reasonably early to get up in time to avoid the rush we endured 3 years previous when we were leaving.

After a leisurely tidy and pack, the cabs arrived. Our cab driver looked like an old sea captain, and could of easily been 100 years old, yet he still stood a good 6'4" in height and probably could have taken any of us. We got the train to edinburgh where we were gonna stay for a few days, we crossed the Firth of Forth rail bridge which i was a bit too excited about. Florence and sherene put all of us up (the 9 who were left in Scotland minus Alice who went home plus Ben who met us at edinburgh waverly) in their huge apartment just looking over the edinburgh meadows, but more importantly above wine rack. Ben cooked us a delicious curry that night, we also got on the pre-lash before going to see Brodinski at a club called Caberet Voltaire ('Cab Vol'). Before we left the clock struck midnight meaning it was rachels birthday(!). Inside the drinks were cheap, so i bought rachel her birthday drink. After a while brodinkis set began, which was sick. We also found out that the club was giving out loads of free johnny and lube so lots of fun was had repeatedly going up and collecting more lube, and trying to not look weird get more condoms as well. Hannah nicked some of lube, so i led her to the place where they were giving it out we both got some more rubbers and lube and as we left the guy in charge of the sexual health booth said, 'have a good night'. The rest of the night i spent intermittently falling asleep and raving before going back home with everyone at the end of the night having a ridiculously strong bedsy and going to sleep. brodinski ended his set with a few Jacko tunes, a trend i'm sure would follow throughout the summer.

The next day we went for breakfast for rachels breakfast. the munch was good and it was funny listening to the polish staff saying 'bigger breakfast with extra tatty' We then went to a bar called brass monkey where you can go and put on one of your own films to watch so watched a film called 'Black Orpheus' that joel gave rachel for her birthday, about a samba dancer who has a forbidden love with a woman in the favellas of rio during carnival which ends tragically for them both. i missed a big part of the middle partly because i fell asleep. that bight we all made cup cakes and fancy dress raffle for dinner, i had to dress as a farmer, highlights included ben as osama bin laden, ali as eve and joel and sherene as eachother.

My last day in scotland consisted of ben allon and I doing soem plumbing before getting lean and meeting the others at the mosque for some peng munch before going and hanging out in grace's amazing flat for a cup of tea and some telly before getting the train to the big LDN.

Unfortunately i had to leave earlier than evryone else cos i needed a few days to sort stuff out before going to europe PLUS Ally was coming up to visit and i needed top spend more that a day with her.

Fuck

I aint written shit for a long time, and i've got a lot to write about! yay!

Safaribreak Live!

I don't think there is much i can say about this, it was supposed to be by a beach but it wasn't, and i think that greatly altered the feel of it, here are some highlights/lowlights:

• Caspa & Rusko, and then being given some coke, thinking it was mandy for letting a guy go on my shoulders to take a photo, he also gave some spliff afterwards.
• Realising that after 12am the sound in the dance arena had to be turned down making any subsequent acts sound shit.
• The Safari park next door.
• Cuban brothers' jokes breakdancing, and jumping into the crowd/posing for cameras whilst completely starkers.
• bumping into a group of girls who i met at EXIT festival last year.
  
• Watching the Zutons then being an absolute flop and hitting the sack at about 11 due to excessive alcohol consumption.
• DIZZEE RASCAL.

At about 1am on the 3rd day, whilst watching Krafty Kutz at low volume, i couldn't think of anywhere i less rather be. Preferably i would want to have been back home with my mum, having just come out of her breast cancer operation, up in scotland with the homies, on in bed having a kiss and a cuddle with Ally, instead of struggling to listen to a DJ, who although quite good didnt seem to be enjoying himself either.

Apart from the quieting of music after 12, the biggestdisapointment was that on the poster it said 16th-19th, denoting 4 days, yet it was only 3. In thinking this i booked a flight up to scotland a day later than everyone else was going when instead i could have just got the train with them on the same day.

BASTARD BEACHBREAKERS

Limbo

The joy of being finished was short lived.

As the assignments got handed in, and overwhelming sense of freedom over took me, but it didnt feel right, like it handn't sunk in yet, like there were things still hanging over my head that i needed to sort out.

I went into town to take my summer ball dress back, for those of you who dont know what i looked liked, i looked like this:

They refunded the £22.50 i had payed for it, despite it smelling like smoke and field, on top of being insanely streched out of shape. My excuse for return was 'she didn't like it, was too tarty apparently...' they ate it up like arm custard. I then finally got to put some money INTO the bank which felt good, money being one of the worries hanging over my head at the moment.

I spent the afternoon in the pub spending the last bit of time with my course mates before going to the hospital for a check up, then back into town to have dinner and chill out with Ally for the evening, as it was the last day we had together in bournemouth.

I went to lava later with Josh, Jon and James, leaving Ally to pack and much to my pleasure, most of the course had turned out to what was a less than full lava, they didn't even open the black room (!!), everyone stayed to the end and messed around on the street outside the club singin along with the buskers that always hang around student clubs, 2 of which as i know as Jim and Jim, who are my coursemate Holly's boyfriend and flatmate. Josh went back to Vera's, some beautiful Portuguese girl on Sam's course that he's been linking for a couple of weeks or so, but he's still not getting any, while i went back to purbeck with Humby, Leichmann and Nell to have a smoke, and ultimately end up with Ally. After a quick joint we went down to Harry Mundays flat where Trosh, Emma, Toby, Aisling and Lauro were. It was cool to chill out in his wicked lounge watching the sun rise and watching Laurie getting his nob out on numerous occasions while Emma kept giving Charlie GCSE level questions to work out how stoned he was. At about 530 i went up to have a lie down with Ally just to spend more time with her before we went to Isle of Wight festival at 8. After she left i went back to Hurn to find James, Jon and Holly still awake. Before going to sleep i said my goodbye's to Holly who i wont see until August as she went to newquay today and wont be back until i've gone home :(

Right now, as i was saying to james earlier, I've got that same feeling you get when you've just come back from a really good holiday and all you wanna do is be back there. I don't know if its because I won't see my girlfriend for at least another 2 weeks, that hald my flatmates have gone home, that i have no money, or that i'm just tired, but i feel that i'm just drifting at the moment.

One things for sure though, once i leave here and the summer officially starts, I wont feel like this only more, roll on (no)beachbreak!

Hey, I'm almost done

Well our summer project is over and i'm almost finished for the year, i'm just getting this bloody PDP and production analysis over and done with.

The project couldn't of gone better i feel, despite the channel 4 lady's feedback that we wern't specific enough in our presentation, i got to travel the country, make some new friends and, what do you know, i even got a gf out of it.

I have to be honest that by the end of the project my enthusiasm was dwindling and when i found out that i was going first i gave the presentation with as much gusto as i could muster, knowing that as soon as the 15 minutes was over so, effectively, was my first year of uni APART FROM THIS BASTARD PDP AND PRODUCTION ANALYSIS.

i know its been a bit long since i wrote anything but as soon as the summer properly starts, and i have stuff to write about, i will.

peace. x

Irony

three quotes come to mind:

'i've kind of got myself a girlfriend' - Danny Slater at about this time last year at the end of his first year of uni, which i found very funny

'Come Danny its me your talking to' - Me, over easter, replying to danny querie if i were to be in a relationship like that of the equally unlikely bruno and his reltionship with sara.

'I'm my own man' - what i supposedly said to sara before easter when she asked me if i ever wanted a gf.

turns out now, with me at the end of my fresher year have found myself a girlfriend which up until about a month ago i would, and so would a lot of others see as very unlikely. Weird how things turn out innit.

Hitchhike

For our summer project we chose to do a campaign to bring back hitchhiking to the UK, so in order to know a bit more about it we decided to hitchhike ourselves from Edinburgh back to B-town, obvo i didnt come up with the idea but as it was Ally that did i jumped on it.

To say goodbye to the lads we cotched in my room listening to a mixture of old skool hip-hop, reggae and grime music whilst smoking a few joints, which included christening the smartie tube pipe, which despite the mild taste of cardboard works wonders. I then went round to Ally's place where we were to get our lift from. Emma Worgan gave us a lift to the airport where our first task was to get through the customs check. The woman let us through after Ally persuaded her that the sleeping back attached to her rucksack whereas all it did was tie on to it. After this will chilled out in customs, unpacking our bags to make them easier to carry. We got a couple of beers and about a third of the ay through the 2nd round they called our flight to board. we relaxed knowing that there was no rush and that their would be space, besides we had some beers, and me in my state was in no mood to rush. when we eventually joined the queue at the back we get to the to gate and the ryanair woman says we can only have one bag each, and she isnt going to fall for the sleeping bag 'attach' scam. This results in ally donning all of my tshirts on top of her tshirts and hoodie, as well as wearing her hotpants over her jeans, just so i could fit her sleeping bag in my bag. We also had a roll of wallpaper that we were going to use for signs that had got through customs without a problem, this i just stuck out the top of my bag. We were last on the flight so everyone, including Reese Bushy-Evans and Alishia who were also going to edinburgh for some reason, in matching Nerve TV hoodies i might add, saw us in a state. after we had settled we got few £4.50 beers which gave us a few more strange looks from our fellow passengers.

When we got to Edinburgh we were greeted by Ally's mate from school who is in her second year at Edinburgh and Ally went to stay with her. I, on Joels directions, went to get a bus to get up to his halls, but realising it was 1 that all the buses he had told me to get had stopped. I remembered the walk and got there about half hour later. We made me a bed out of 2 huge beanbags and started chatting about what had been happening in the last couple of weeks. It was only when i was chatting to the sober Joel that i realised how drunk/high/spaced out i seemed. we chatted for a few hours before we really needed to crash.


I got at 8.30 and set off about ten to 9 to get into town to meet Ally at 9.30, i stopped off at Grace's flat to have a cup of tea and say hello to her and Anna who lives with her, which was funny as the reaction of girls in the morning to see a boy whilst they are in their pyjamas and not made is up is always the same. I met Ally in town where we filmed a bit for the video diary and had a spot of breakfast, which involved veggie/normal haggis! We set of to find a bus that would take us to Morningside and got off when we felt it was right, just to end up on exactly the road we needed out of town. We were outside a service station but a guy told us we would be more likely to get picked up a bit further along the road, we went a bit further along where we ended up waiting for an hour and a half to get picked up, our signs getting more and more desperate until a guy picked us up for my sign sating 'Out of town'. He explained to us that he was only going a short distance but he had hitchhiked before all over the country. we asked him what was the reason why people are hitching less nowadays to which he replied 'there are more nutters around nowadays'. He dropped us off in a lay-bye just before a petrol station just past the edinburgh ringroad, we got out wrote a sign for a Carlisle and a sign saying south, within a minute, a lady called Jan pulled up and told us that she was going through Carlisle, to which we told her we were actually on her way to Manchester, which, low and behold, so was she! Jan was lovely but my oh my did she talk, half way through the car journey me an Ally, knew everything about her family, her school years, all her jobs, her ex-boyfriends, her nephews potential footballing career, after this Ally nodded off, cos she was in the back but I had to keep up the conversation which ultimately resulted in me just nodding and saying yes and regular intervals. Eventually she realised i was absolutely knackered so she told me i could recline and put my head back, i did so with much gratitude, but she put on the radio and faithless insomnia came on so i decided i felt bad and carried on the convo with more gusto than ever, those 30 or so seconds with my eyes closed really perked me up though. By then anyway we were in Manchester and about 2o minutes from the stating she was going to drop us off at so we could get into the centre.

After a short walk from Manchester Picadilly via Canal street, which in my eyes is gayer that Soho, we got the bus out to Fallowfield to dump our stuff at Danny's house and commence drinking. That first beer after a long days hitching is so appreciated, i would put it up there with a beer after a day playing cricket in terms of first pint satisfaction. Ally got to meet Archie and Danny and Ali who came around later, they told her about MC DoorMatt unfortunately but she actually found it alright, strangely enough. That night we went to a place called the chapel which is a converted chapel (duh?) where they were playing sick music and where there were a load of other people that i know from back home, to the amount that Ally was quite shocked. Me an Ally got off a few times, arousing kudos from the mates, Alice asked me i she was my girlfriend which created a few minutes of awkwardness. We went back to Dannys for a bit, but although she was on it nothing happened, taking it slow i guess (?).

Next morning we went for breakfast around the corner from Danny's and after packing up our stuff Danny's housemate Nick gave us a lift out of town to the A-road which feeds the M6 out of Manchester. We found ourselves a lay bye with a hot food stall which loads of people would see and hopefully stop at. We set our signs for South and London and within half hour a guy who had pulled up asked me what i was doing. I explained that we were researching for a campaign to bring back Hitch hiking to the UK, to which he replied, 'cool, so your going to london then, do u want a lift' it turns out he was going to visit his mum in enfield a relative stones throw away from where i live. His name was Abe, an english born nigerian car trader who had a great passion for boxing and actually boxed himself. He had his puppy in the car, who Ally cradled for the entire journey, only to smell completely of dog for the next 2 days. We had a big chat about boxing and then he also told us a story about how he had been arrested because his uncle, who was in the country without papers had put Abe's name down when he had been arrested. Abe was a lot less talkative than Jan, in a good way, so the ride was a lot more chilled out, a mood which was aided by the funky nigerian RnB playing in the background.

He dropped us off at turkey street station, a bit further up the line from Edmonton Green where i used to get off the train to go to school. we got the train to seven sisters, without a ticket of course and then got on the rail replacement bus service which was also free. I had talked to my mum about how i might be coming home but that i still thought we were gonna stop in oxford, so when we arrived at 6 on a warm sunny sunday evening it was unexpected. My rents were throwing a bbq for their mates, meaning within 2 days Ally had met both my friends from home, my family and even my family's friends... My dad's old friend Damien was there who i hadn't seen in about 8 years, because he moved back to Greece. He told us his stories about how he pretended to be a bit psycho just to get out of his Military service. Also got talking to my Dad's mate dwight who used to make music videos for Blur and radiohead. That night we went for a drink with Mesh and Hannah in Camden, but being a sunday, the pub closed at 11 so we only had time for one drink. It was good for a quick catch up none the less. My dad had thought Ally would sleep in my bed and i would sleep on the sofa but when he saw me walk down from my room in the morning he gave me a pat on the back as to say 'well done son' that was quite funny, my mum gave me 20 quid, but i think that was unrelated...

The next morning we went for a quick bite top eat at my mums café before getting the train across town to get to the start of the M3. We waited for about half an hour in a lay bye before a danish lady, i cant remember her name, picked us up and told us she was going to Basingstoke, it turns out she used to study at Bournemouth, so we spent a while talking about how the club scene had changed and where we are living. She dropped us off on the Hard shoulder of the slip road just outside basingstoke, where we waited for about 25 minutes. Ally was getting a bit stressed cos she couldnt work out why people weren't picking us up, especially as we clearly weren't in a situation to get a bus, I, on the other hand was skanking to JME! Another car trader picked us up, this guy was a lot less chilled out than Abe, quite intense actually, and he seemed liek the person who felt that his opinion was always right. He had hitch-hiked before, as part of his work, if a car broke down, he would hitch back to where he was based and drive back to pick it up. He explained to us how people always make judgements on face value, and therefore it was easier for him to get picked up because he would be wearing a suit. He also explained how its worthwhile going up and introducing yourself in service stations, as that gives you a chance to portray yourself better to potential drivers. He dropped us off on the turn off to the A33 from the M27 just outside southampton, and i have to say that is probably the most dangerous place i have stood in my life, cars going by at 70 mph + on either side. We wrote our final sign to bournemouth and then commenced to make our way up the M27 hard shoulder, as we started walking we noticed a car pulled up with its hazards on about 100m up the road. We went over to him to ask if had stopped for us, and he explained that he had seen us writing our sign and thought anyone going west along the M27 would be heading to Bournemouth anyway. His name was Andy and he was also an ex Bournemouth Student, he ended dropping us off outside O'neils on Landsdowne roundabout, bringing an end to our journey, but more importantly putting the possibility of an after hitch pint beyond doubt.

That night I went out with Lads again, on our now standard monday night, Inferno followed by V which has now properly replaced the sorely missed monday night Crank, I went back with Ally that night, she bought me subway, then we back to my room for a spliff and a kiss.

Refreshered

With the absolute absence of every aspect of university bar the odd meeting about our summer project, the opportunity has arose for me to get back into the other side of uni-life with a certain level of style and aplomb. thats right readers, i have been getting ridiculously crunk.

Monday brought £1 a pint night back to the fore, where i had the opportunity to speak to a lot of my old production group and gave Dan his present that i had brought from home, a moving qui-gon jinn statue, that was my dad was gonna throw out but i didnt let him cos i had a mate at uni who's birthday is coming up. He loved it. Afterwards me and Josh persuaded Minto to come to the new club opening called V, which was at the landmark, which is a converted church, just like Crank, the old monday night that closed down. We got there and there was no queue, which at 11pm is a BAD sign, but after our tabasco tasting shot we went inside to find it was actually quite full, and about half an hour later it was rammed. when we eventually left some girl started to coming on to Jon about his ginger hair, so with the utmost respect for this lady Josh goes up to her and says 'is their any possibility you would fuck any of us tonight?' 'no' she replies, 'this is my fiance, he is in the army. After the awkwardness of situation had passed and with the soldiers angry gaze still resting on us, she goes and gives Minto a big hug saying give me a hug my ginger brother from another mother, then comes over to me grabs my mini fro and goes 'oooh, instant orgasm', fair to say we made our way home swiftly, to spare the wrath of our nations armed forces.

Tuesday was the frisbee social, which was fairly slow to get going, we had people around at hurn and the drinking games were played with the highest levels of apathy, until one of Ali's friends, who we had met earlier that day came around, so we invented a game to fuck him over/catch up, aptly named 'chat shit' where u have to say a completely unrelated sentence to the one the person before says, but everytime Phil said something we would be like, 'oh u cant say nationalities', or 'not allowed to mention anything in the room' he drank 3 bottles of corona in about 10 minutes. We also introduced the Gimp mask rule whilst playing 21, which ended up in a game of Gimp mask tennis between Joe and Handle, as for some reason only they were fucking up. We then went to the firestation to see Judge Jules, who our teammate Sam had hired as part of his course in an attempt to raise money for charity. when we got in, it was a bit empty but it filled up after a while. I ended up pulling this AIB girl, and my teammate Newton ended up pulling her best mate so we went back to my girl's house in Winton, where we proceeded with wine drinking and lots of hash and green, all provided by the host. We chilled in her room listening to dubstep and Jay-Z and eventually when Newton and his girl left, we got going. Just before we started she asked me what her name was. Guess which cunt got it wrong, its not because i'm an arsehole, just because i'm shit with names, oh well, she still let it happen, was really nice as well :D. I know her name now of course, it was Lany, some would say that sounds quite unforgettable, not to me. Despite this i had a really cool night.

After much banter and for some reason more exercise (gym session and 3 hours of frisbee practice) we ended up, predictably, at Lava. It was alright, the queue was massive but i sneaked into the front, not using the 'my cousin ricardo has gone in without me and he's never been to a club before RICARDO WAIT UP' excuse, but just sneaking in with Ali and his mates. The bouncer said he recognised my ID which was a bit depressing. I lost the guys quite quickly, not on purpose, and was wondering around for quite a while aimlessly bumping into several groups of people whilst waiting for Josh and Holly to get in. I had something like 6 double vodbulls got bored and left. partly because it was a bit same old, i had had barely any sleep, and I had fucked up foot at frisbee practice.

Thursday me Josh and Jon went round to James flat in Cranbourne for some pre drinks before going to Klute. On the way we saw some girl get attacked ina carpark by some pikey man, they obviously knew each other as their was another one trying to break it up who was saying 'JUST LEAVE HER MATE SHE'S NOT WORTH IT' when we got to Klute the live music upstairs has stopped so we went downstairs to boogie, Minto was getting close to Hayley again, and ended up going back with her. Me and Josh ended up on the beach talking about love and life before it got too cold, we then went on to do cartwheels over various Hotel front lawns before bumping into Becci and Rory, who from afar looked just like street drunks. Rory again kept reminding me of the time i slept with Hannah, and that i still owed him a drink, which, fair enough, i do.i then challenged Josh to see if he could lie down on a very steep slope upside down which he succeeded at doing but i did it better, until rory came along and slapped me in the stomach. obvo we back rolled of the hill and as josh put it, 'just lift your legs up a bit and you'll end up on your feet' it worked. When we got in we went through a whole pack of 'I have never' cards with Lotta and her man, that was fun, no drinking, just truth.

Friday was Sara's bday so we went to Inferno in the evening for a meal and a few drinks. Minto went home for a wedding and Dizzle was doing some work at Uni so i ended up going to the Firestation for Lollipop with the girls. At the club, i bumped into Ally, from my summer project group, who i have to say i fancy a little bit. She was with Nick Leishman and James Humby off my course, after a lot of drinks and a few hours clubbing Humby asked me if i wanted to go back to his to blaze - of course. We went back and got completely lean with Leishman and a few of Humby's flatmates, with Nell aswell, another girl off my course. Ally who had left Lollipop earlier came and joined us as she lives next door, we discussed Humbys nicknames for eveybody but by the end everyone was so chrunk (haha i havnt used that word in aaaaaaaaages) i made my way home. Apparently it was raining but i dont remember, i do remember the fact that the sky was lighting up and that made me happy.

The weekend consisted of the most ridiculous football match i have ever seen, followed by a party that was full of cheers and tears. On sunday it was Leishman's birthday so i went and joined him and Ally in the pub, we then went to Sharkey's where we were joined by Humby and Bruno. The day ended with a BBQ on the beach which involved much drinking and smoking. James, Ed, Sam and Rachel from Cranbourne came over and had a bit of a drink and smoke after their own beach party had flopped, Chinstrap Charlie even came down for a bit. it ended up with me, Ally and leish on the beach getting the last of the heat from the barbecue and huddling together before clearing up heading home and Ally chundering on the ZigZag from a dodgy sausage (hehe).

good solid first week, had to be because as we get further along i will have less people to go out with as people get properly into revision and exams.

Peace. x

CUNT

First half, in control, 0-2 lead, comfortable. One bald wanker awards a penalty that wasn't, and the game changes, drastically. Never, in all my years of being a football fan, have i seen one decision bring about such momentum, mirrored with such a monumental collapse.

for this reason i want to happy slap Howard Webb, or shit on his wife, or take his daughter's (does he have one) virginity, or something of similar humiliation.

cunt...



'

New Term

We got our new groups for the summer project today and overall I am pretty haps. For those who are wondering what the summer project is, it is a 6 week project that combines TV Production, Interactive Media Production and Script writing to designt a '360 degree' project based around a campaign on and issue or cause that involves a website and embeded video.


In terms of the people I wanted to work with from my course, I wanted people who i knew generally but not necessarily well, or people who seem to be into the same stuff as me (of course I wanted people who were good at the making films as well). And thats what i got, the BATV contingent of my group consists of Jim, Lewis and Ally. Jim is a really cool, funny guy who's project i acted in (briefly). Lewis is part of that crowd also, a real down to earth guy who knows what he's doing. Ally is a nice girl, out of three i think I have talked to her the least, despite her being in my PAL group and me being friends with Nick and Charlie from her production group, but she seems to have her head on her shoulders (what it is with these fucking clichés i keep using!?). Unfortunately we got 'the Twat in the Hat' in our group known for his regular outbursts of bollocks in our monday morning lectures over the last 2 terms, he also wears a hat. Apparently he and his friend whilst really drunk propositioned a threesome on Ally not so long ago - reply was negative obvo - so there could be akwardness there. On a more personal level, however, he seems more chilled out though, I dont feel he will be as annoying over the course of the 6 weeks, if he is I'll just give him a bad peer assessment! The other guys seem to be pretty cool, I have had a warning about one of the scriptwriters in my group, but i'll wait to make a decision on that.


I spent a bit of money today also, I got the T-shirt i wanted for ages the, new term means new stock so they finally had my size, in the colour I wanted. I says 'University of Bournemouth Est 1992:

That was also the first photo took with my new lens! Its the same as the old one minus the sand, plus the clips, so i can now take photos one handed again. I also bought my Summer Ball ticket which, even without the lineup, looks bloody fabulous. Got my block party ticket also which, with the line up announced, may be as good if not better that the last one.

Off to my gym induction now, I know, what's going on??

Easter Weekend

'You see in the old days when people used to care about Easter...' Archie Proudfoot, 2009.

Easter weekend was a lot more action packed and fun filled than it has been for a long time. Bar a completely hanging Saturday which culminated in Match of the Day, everyday was pretty fun.

On the friday, we had a really good game of footy, played in the light drizzle, so the ball was playing along the ground perfectly and beautiful football ensued. That evening I went out for dinner with the fams for my tia (auntie) Anna's birthday, at the same restaurant we went to the week before with the guest we had last week but Tia wasn't to know... Ali and Sherene met me outside the restaurant as they were walking down to Finsbury Park, and we went to Angel to meet the others at the Spoons who were having pre-ish drinks for Grace's b'day. On the journey i made the supposed faux pas of telling Ali about Hannah's potential beau, which he obviously can't be bothered about anymore. After a few beers and shots at the Spoons we tried to go to this congolese club where electroworks used to be. As we got to the door the bouncer was like 'Are all of you together?' too which i replied yeh, so he goes 'Sorry we cant do that' ok then. With no1 really up for the soon-ending Big Chill or the long-queued Egg, we decided to head to Archies where his little sister was also having a little gathering. Tempers flared when Archie found out that, on Sherene telling him she was about to be sick, Danny led her into Archie's downstairs (the parents) living room. To cheer Archie up, me and Danny had a rap battle of sorts, which involved me Joe on the piano and me a Danny having what can only be described as a argument you would find in a musical. Later on there I thought it would be funny to text, TO HER 'MUMMY', Hi Sorry. I'm quite drunk and about to have sex with some random guy. I hope you still love me. I did write it but couldnt send it, Danny did, a minute later the phone starts ringing. MUMMY. We didnt know what to do so we moved it to another table.

Sunday was a 12 hour shoreditch bonanza. After lunch with the fams where my Dad thought i had a burst capillary in my face, you know the thinks alcoholics have, i couldnt believe it. After lunch Dad announced that he, Mum and Tia were going to the river, so I asked for a lift to brick lane as i was meeting my friends who had supposedly been there since 3. I got there at 4 (via the Brick lane sunday bric-a-brac market which was so cool) only to find that no1 was there yet. I then went to get some cash by Spitafields, so decided to have a look around. Boy has it changed, it seems so regimented and clean, gone are the overflowing stalls of pretty but pretty useless stuff, replaced by stalls selling CDs of world music and organic clothing. No more are the 5-a-side pitches i used top play on when i was 10 in their place stand branches of Wagamama, Giraffe and the Gourmet Burger Co. I texted Grace if she was down yet, and she replied saying everyone was coming down after 5.30 so she was gonna come down then. It was 4.30 so i went to the pub and watched Fulham batter Man City. Grace arrived at the end of the game, she had left earlier to aid my cause, and walking to the offie we bumped into Tom who had also come down on a whim but at a more suitable time. After a few farcical attempts to get into the alleyway by 1001 we finally got in, Tom with a beer in each of his inside pockets, grace with her gin in her bag and me with 2 in my jacket, one in Graces, and one down the front of my Jeans. The next 5 or so hours went by quite quickly actually it was about 2 hours before other ex-latymerians got there and the other couple of hours were spent windin and skankin inside 1001 with the 100% Dynamite DJs. A few people went on to Cargo, but Danny persuaded me to go to Big Chill with him, Archie, Joe, Fraser and Laurence, for some party classics. We ended off the night with some Disco boogie at Cargo, eventually anyway, after the bouncers wouldnt let us in, for no reason, until their bosses told them off anyway. haha. Grace now thinks i'm the most dedicated friend ever now.

On monday I went for lunch in Highgate with the rents and the tia, followed by footie in Highgate woods, played a lot worse this time, probably due to the pub lunch, and the dry uncut grass, yeah that was it, it was the grass... At night it was gussy's party where i was welcomed by possibly the most sexual nice-to-meet-you kiss on the cheek ever from Gussy and Emma's uni mate Lucy. seriously was ridiculous, like actually memorable enough for me to write about it now. The thing i told Ali about on Friday night about Hannah came to the fore when Laurence arrived, I was upstairs at the time having some sentimental and nostalgic moments with Emma, but apparently things got deep and old skool, looks like there are still skeletons in that closet. I ended up drinking 5 cans and a bottle of wine, but was the most sober (least drunk) i had been all weekend, maybe the comment made my Dad has some relevance...

Oceana

To be honest, i was underwhelmed. It was a bigger version of what i am used to from b'town, specifically lava, and i dont know why I expected anything else. Maybe it was the fact that i didn't pull, and with the amount of females that were present but (excuses, excuses) I did go out with 2 girls and as any lad would say pulling in the company of girl mates is a lot harder than pulling in the company of guy mates. Maybe it was the sickening taste of alcopop that was left in my mouth from the moment i got to Claudias due to the fact that, because this place gets so busy, so early on, that I didnt have enough time to get the beers in, so was left with a smirnoff ice substitute. Maybe its because I had become increasingly tired over this Holiday as I have been getting less, rather than more, sleep and therefore was tired before i got in. Maybe it was the fact that the Toilet Man had no originality keeping it simply to 'No Spray, No Lay' rather than expanding to 'No Splash, No Gash' or the even rarer 'No Armani, No Punani'. Maybe its the fact that in the process of getting to Claudias and back, getting back to Claudias from Oceana, drink in the Lloyd's outside and in Oceana and Entry, I spent in the region of £40. Or Maybe its all of these factors, on top of the feeling that I wasn't going there directly from my Halls, nor was near as pissed or near as up for it as I would have been if it was during term time.

The fact is when i'm back home i go to a different type of club, and there's something about London that puts me in a different mindset. Was good to see Claudia and Kim though :D

A Despondent Start to Easter

It may be weird to have the second post of a summer blog devoted to the start of the Easter holidays, but it does make sense, at least to me anyway.

As it has been, the first couple of days of my Easter have been pretty hopeless as of yet. The first night was promising met up with Danny, Ali and Allon, shared a few stories about the 2nd semester, some funny, some awful (Danny) but in the course of the next couple of days these fine men left to go on one of those 'little Easter holiday trips', to what I have, over the last couple of days, become increasingly jealous of.

With Ali, Mesh, Hannah, and Rachel - the pioneer of it all - going on their fancy, money raising tour to morocco, Danny and Pierre on the respective Manchester and Brizzle ski trips and various others going on tour, to Germany, Marseille, the Algarve, why can't i go on one? why?

There was me boasting about how my summer was gonna be SO good cos i was gonna have SO much money, and to be fair, it probably will be, but you know what they say, the grass is always greener... (is that the right phrase?), and right now the other side says long weekend in Barcelona. That's what i should be doing right now, getting pissed off San Miguel, Estrella Damm and Sangria, whilst trying to buy hashish of Indian and Algerian men then going to clubs and getting rejected by Spanish women because they think I'm an Arab.

In the meantime I'm briefly having a few drinks here and there, you know those sort of drinks that are fun, but if it were a proper night out they would be better cos you know in the back of your mind your going out afterwards. Today me Joel and Archie had another one, on top of the one we had 2 nights before, which was nice but that's only cos we mixed up the Cinema times. Sur le moment i think its just me, Bruno, Joel, Archie, Allon - back from his weekend in Germany, bastard - and Harry. Now I have already seen all of these people at least once since I've come back, so we've had our catch up chats - mine and Harry's being particularly notable as we hadn't seen each other in a year and a half - and yet none of us have been clubbing. The last time i went clubbing was LAVA, last WEDNESDAY, in BOURNEMOUTH. 6 nights without clubbing is not good, that normally only happens over Christmas, or on family holidays.

Come on lads, lets get our acts together, and go out!

The Showdown! (and a little introduction)

Well I was meant to write a blog for my 'personal development' over first year but failing that i should write one which will be fun to write about, and hopefully fun to read. I hope to give a good enough account of my summer that so far is set to involve 3 festivals (hopefully 4), a return to Scotland with the '06 crew + 2 more and of course the summer term at the end of my first year in my second home of B'town. To anyone who read my blog about my experiences travelling, I aim to make this one more grammatically correct and readable! I might even use the spellcheck that Blogger offers but, you know one step at a time.


ANYWAY.


The showdown was what made me want to write about my summer anyway, i had such a good time reflecting on it the morning afterwards that i thought it a good starting point. It was also officially the last day of us as a seminar group together as we had just shot our studio day which, i feel, as a result of all the work we put into it, was excellent.

We met first at Sam's flat for the pre-drinking, and lots of drinking games were started, a lot of them were universally know others new to some people but it was fun all the same. Watching Manjay repeatedly fail at Arrogance in an attempt to screw over Dan was particularly funny. A brief mention/warning must go to the Castlemain XXXX that i was drinking, dont by this stuff no matter how cheap it is, it is canned piss! Eventually, as always happens, it ended with ring of fire, and with the dare card, brought some interesting occurrences. The first one was drawn by Sam, and as he was thinking of one, I drew my card which was also a dare. It was here that the showdown got underway because me, being from E1 and Sam, from E2 decided to make the dares go to someone from the other production group. As Sam was first he dared George to strip down to his boxers and go to every flat on floors 6 and 7 on the South Block of Cranbourne, knock on the door and go cooey! to the person he answered the door. George was against the idea of this and Sam overhearing me say 'if it was me i would happily do it' changed the recipient of the dare to me.

There i go stripping in another person's corridor, off i go to floor 6 followed by almost the whole of group E, Alex Gardiner, he was there for some reason, Sam's flatmates, Sam's flatmates' friends, oh yeh and the video camera that we were filming the whole night with, luckily no-one on floor 6 answers but everyone on floor 7 does with an air of surprise, and mild confusion, followed by giggles from the group of 20 or so behind me. I got back to find all my clothes had been taken outside and i almost fell into the trap of being led the wrong way and raped... err... i mean locked out.

Because Sam said he would do anything bar nudity, his dare was to go out to the street and kiss the first person he saw on the lips, yes readers, ON THE LIPS. Funnily enough the first person he saw was a fat 50 something cab driver, but unfortunately, instead of just running over, kissing him and running off whilst the cab driver took a swing at him, he asked first, to which the cabbie replied 'no'. The next person he saw happened to be my flatmate, future housemate and one of my best mates, Josh, who thought Sam was coming over to him to reintroduce himself after i had introduced the two two days previous on St Paddys... how wrong he was.

Anyway, it was at about this time that we decide it was time to go, there was a big queue for the toilet, it was also at bout this time that we realised how drunk Laura was as she wanted to go to the toilet in her flat, in the central block, on the 10th floor. We met James, our coursemate, Laura's flatmate, who decided to come with us to Bar:ME. George bailed at this point, cos he had to do his essay - lightweight. On the way there Laura asked me for a piggyback, she told me how she had a hole in her tights, which i responded to by saying 'haha now everyone can see your vag' to which was followed by a torrent of sexual filth on her behalf which shall not be repeated on this post. The title of 'Kinky' shall now be withdrawn from Emma and given to Laura, although Emma retains the title 'Promiscuous'. A bit of embarrassing dancing and limboing on Dan's behalf as well as some cheap WKDs from Debbie behind the bar, one of which i strawpedo'd with Manjay (why do people do this, its like swallowing glass?!?) we headed to Toko for the dance off.

Now, the dance offs i've had in my time have been fun and mostly spontaneous, sometimes violent (some people may remember when that bald guy grabbed me by the throat in 93 feet east because I out-crumped him) but this one was a bit of a shambles if i'm honest, mainly due to disrespect to the turn taking aspect, and general lack of manners shown by both sides. Dan's inpropotionality and err, extravagant dancing moves almost got kicked out, i think he was a bit drunk because one push by Adrian i think it was sent him sprawling into the bouncers feet. At this point we moved into the middle of the dancefloor and just had a good old fashioned sing along, dance along, aided presence of the camera still there, documenting our night, can't wait to see the footage when its all pieced together by Sam over the Easter hols. Eventually Liam suggested the beach, and me being an awfully sweaty betty, jumped on the idea. When we left the club, Adrian, Caitlin and Manjay shared a cab home, and the remaining four, me, Sam, Emma and Liam headed to the beach.

This was the first time i had ended up on the beach after a night out, which i personally find ridiculous as i live 5 minutes from it and all the clubs in town are also only 5 minutes from it. Anyway it turned out to be a fucking wicked place to go, we even found a aerobee which didnt last long as i tried to demonstrate a hammer and subsequently through it into the sea, turns out you can't hammer aerobees.

I have to say it was a interesting night. It turns out that these guys that I have been going to seminars, studio days, lectures and workshops with I still dont know as well as i should and that goes for most of my other coursemates as well. But i guess that is all part of the uni experience, and hopefully the end of group E won't be the end of our friendships.


...my gosh that was a gay ending.